The Sunday News
Robin Muchet, Senior Reporter
SEVERAL decades later, blessings in the form of three children and a marriage gone to bed, Tariro (not her real name), has been, a secret that she only shared a few weeks ago after coming across testimonies of other intersex people.
A media practitioner by profession, Tariro is keen on ensuring intersex people like her are not discriminated against and are afforded a chance to chose the organ they remain with, meaning any surgery should be done when an affected person is older, not soon after birth. Intersex is a general term used to describe a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive organ that does not fit the typical definitions of male or female.
A person may be born looking female, but having mostly typical male anatomy. Others, however, develop a second anatomy at puberty. Tariro narrated how she discovered she was different.
“I had this cut that I noticed under my private part, I don’t really know what it is but it’s a chunk of flesh. When it’s cold it gets very painful, so being an orphan, I asked my grandmother what that piece of flesh was. I was in Grade Six then and she said I had an operation.
‘Years later I needed to understand what that operation was as I was becoming curious as I had heard about people who are intersex. I wanted to understand about this other organ that I seemed to have but was removed to make me look more female,” opened up Tariro.
According to the doctors it was nothing serious or to worry about unlike other people who are born with ambiguous genitalia, it did not affect her hormones and she grew up just like any other woman and even gave birth to three children. The thing that bothers her is its presence and how it affects sexual intercourse.
“It’s only that this other thing is there alongside my female organ. Everything has been normal, if a person does not look at it properly, they would think it’s just a growth, unless they scrutinize it then they can see what it is. But it’s painful when having sexual intercourse such that it becomes a sacrifice for me to actually do it, even when it gets cold, that organ is so painful,” she said almost shedding a tear.
However, Tariro has managed to have the normal milestones any other female has like menstruation without a challenge, she also managed to get married and gave birth to three children before eventually separating from her husband.
“I am now divorced, for four years now, maybe I was misunderstood somehow, like I said, intercourse was very painful but I tried to do my best to make the other person enjoy it. So, I am not sure if that contributed to the end of the marriage that the sex life was affected by this organ,” she said.
After accepting her condition she decided to venture more and understand the issue of intersex people.
“I am involved with the Africa Intersex Movement and I am in the steering committee, locally we have organisations in Harare, Bulawayo and Chitungwiza that all deal with intersex people.”
Tariro said it has not been a pleasant journey of being an intersex person.
“It is not such a pleasant journey, the stories are sad unlike other key populations, when we meet it is all about crying as people share their journeys. We have people who undergo surgeries all their lives because their parents are trying to correct them to a sex they prefer,” she said.
Tariro said she has come to the rescue of many people in Zimbabwe who share the same condition as her.
“I have learnt a lot because this motivated me to help other parents with children born with ambiguous genitalia like me.
“Some health professionals now know that I deal with issues of intersex so they quickly refer parents who have ambiguous genitalia to me and we counsel them through our organisation and help them cope with the journey with their child,” she said.
She said there is no funding in the Zimbabwean health system to cater for people born with ambiguous genitalia.
“We are not funded by anyone in this movement for assisting intersex people, we do it out of passion and the need to assist others who have the same conditions as us. However, in this aid that we give to the people we have parents who accept the condition of the child and some who are still struggling to accept. There have also been a lot of divorces because of this,” she added.
Mpilo Central Hospital in Bulawayo has been offering what they call “corrective surgery” for children born with two reproductive organs so that the child remains with one desired. This has been received with much criticism as the intersex movement is advocating for surgery to occur when a child is older and can choose their preferred sex.
“We are against the surgeries totally; we are advocating that the child grows to be an adult and they make their own choice.
“Even if the Registrar General would leave that space blank, where the sex should be, it’s ok, until a time when the choice has been made and the sex is what the child really is and what is tallying with their hormones.
“For some children they change as they grow, some may grow up looking like a boy but then later get female prominent features such as breasts and so on so we better wait,” she said.
There are fears of improper diagnosis of children who are intersex hence the need to delay the “corrective” surgeries.
Some children have been stigmatised at school after they were discovered to be intersex and have had teachers refusing to teach them once they were known.
There is a case of a child who suffered a similar fate and was chased away from school. Tariro further said society, because of lack of knowledge was also putting some intersex people in a corner.
“We have men and women who live within the communities that may not be keen on relationships and marriages not because of their own making but because they suffer ambiguous genitalia.
‘Society then pushes them to achieve these expectations but they cannot give in because of their struggle with genitalia. So, society must also be sensitive to some of its members as they may be suffering in silence,” said Tariro.
Advocates for intersex communities say there is no media coverage to issues affecting their communities such that help is difficult to come by._@NyembeziMu
