The Sunday News
KOREAN news anchors bow their heads in greeting before they start reading the news. They bow again in farewell at the end of the bulletin. Belgians kiss each other on the cheek when they meet, regardless of the gender or how well they know each other. In Arab nations, contact between people of the opposite sex in public is considered obscene, including the shaking of hands. Arabian males, on the other hand hug and kiss each other on both cheeks in greeting.
The British usually just greet each other with a “hello” and usually only shake hands upon meeting someone for the first time. In the United States of America, you are highly unlikely to see men kiss. We are able to tell where certain people come from, just by how they greet each other.
In Zimbabwe, we used to kneel down to greet elders in a home setting, and curtsey and shake their hands when greeting them in public. These days, we hug, kiss, shake hands, wave or shout “hi” in greeting; regardless of the age of those we are greeting and with no qualms about where we are. Basically, anything goes.
I have often watched in amusement as people hug uncomfortable parents and grandparents at bus stations and airports. I have been shocked by incidents of young females diving into the arms of their bosses in greeting, who have no choice but to awkwardly return the hugs.
When I am at my parents’ house, kneeling is “no big deal” and they are okay with me curtseying as I greet them or serve them food. When there are people around though, depending on who they are, I do kneel down to greet my parents and serve them food for I would not want to embarrass them in front of their friends and relatives who might find it disrespectful of me not to. Ubuntu demands that I should be sensitive to my parents’ and their peers’ perceptions of respect. It demands that the way I behave must keep my parents’ and other people’s dignity intact.
We claim to be a people governed by ubuntu but it is difficult to know what exactly that entails seeing as we are now a hotpot of different beliefs, cultures and actions. ubuntu to me, describes good behaviour as a direct result of respect for yourself, respect for others, respect for nature (and the environment) as well as respect for one’s culture; (including history and heritage.)
The word ubuntu has been used synonymously with respect, when we say that boy ulobuntu we mean he is respectful. It has also been used synonymously with culture, where we hear people say ‘‘Ubuntu bamakhiwa’’ when referring to the culture of white people. So respect and culture go hand in hand. Your level of respect is a direct reflection of the culture you were raised in, or to be fair to those who raised you, I will say the culture you conform to. Culture and identity go hand in hand, so ubuntu is your identity. How you behave is who you are, basically. This means that we will identify you and your culture through the way you carry yourself, which is your ubuntu.
Ubuntu is seen in the way we dress. Indian women wear saris and Muslim women cover their faces. Scottish men wear kilts and in Bhutan, a small Himalayan kingdom which lies between India and China, everyone is forced to wear the national dress.
It is easy to identify who some people are and where they come from, just by how they are dressed.
In Zimbabwe, women used to cover themselves with a long cloth over their clothes from the waist down and cover their heads with headscarves. These days, both men and women wear whatever they feel like, whenever. Anything goes.
Ubuntu is reflected in dressing when someone dresses in a way that is comfortable to them and also comfortable to those around them. When I am in Harare, I insist on dressing in jeans because that is what I am most comfortable in and the environment allows. When I visit my grandmothers in Plumtree, Kezi and Filabusi, under no circumstances will I wear jeans because that would embarrass my grandmother “to death’’. My respect for my parents, my grandmother and the rural community will not allow me to do that.
In Ireland they speak Irish, in France they speak French. Russians speak Russian and the Gemans speak German. The language one speaks can be a clear reflection of who they are and where they come from. In Zimbabwe, we generally speak English in public and our mother tongues in private, or a mixture of both. We aren’t too strict about it, so again, basically, anything goes!
Ubuntu can be seen in both verbal and non-verbal communication. It used to be considered rude in Ndebele, to stand while talking to an adult but now we chatter away freely to our elders from all positions, standing up, lying down or cross-legged on the couch. Language also involves choosing which words are suitable to use in certain groups of people and in certain settings.
There are words we used to consider taboo to say in front of adults which I hear young kids throwing around. We used to use slang words like “masalu” when referring to mothers behind their backs but these days it’s not surprising to hear a child calling their mother masalu to her face.
Ubuntu stands out in someone who can differentiate between business language, play language and home language. The moment one starts to use home language at school and play language at home, ubuntu has flown out the window. Ubuntu means I cannot say “usharp” to my mother-in-law but I can say it to my sister-in-law, depending on her age. Ubuntu means that no matter how upset I get with my husband I cannot talk to him with my one hand on my waist or poke him on the forehead. There are appropriate and inappropriate kinds of confrontational language, verbal and non-verbal, your ubuntu will show in which ones you choose.
Ubuntu is also what you do when nobody is “watching.” This includes our respect for our environment. How
