The Sunday News
Thandekile Moyo
WE live in a world where it is acceptable to call a nine- year-old girl a prostitute. My heart is broken. My spirit is low. I cannot find the right words to express exactly what happens inside me when I think back to how in a country with a purported 90%+ literacy rate; we manage to go with a headline that says nine-year-old “sex worker.”
I am so blinded by emotion that I am swaying between itching for a no holds barred fight over this issue and wanting to just curl into a ball and cry my heart out. Seeing as there is nobody to beat up for this, all I can do is pour out my feelings to you.
In all fairness though, this is one of those cases where someone ought to remove me from meddling for what they call “conflict of interest.” Being a woman and a mother to a baby girl, there’s little chance that I can view this without prejudice but I will do my best to balance my outburst as objectively as I possibly can.
Sometime last week Star FM interviewed a girl who said she was nine years old and was getting paid to sleep with men. I have a problem with using the words “sex worker” on a child. Before we even get to the nature of the job; it gives the impression that we accept the idea of a nine-year-old being engaged in some form of employment. It is unimaginable that anyone in their right mind could employ a child that young to work for them, be it as a maid, gardener or even a babysitter!
Article 81.1 of the new Constitution clearly states that every child in Zimbabwe has the constitutional right to be protected from economic and sexual exploitation, from child labour, from maltreatment, neglect or any form of abuse. How then do we find ourselves discussing the issue of a nine-year-old worker?
My biggest worry however, is the prostitution confession/allegation. How is it possible, that a nine- year-old baby girl; probably breast-less, with no curves and just baby fat if she is big bodied . . . how is it possible for her to get clients? I wouldn’t know if men view this differently but I do not see anything “sexual” in an image of any nine-year-old that comes to my mind. What can be “sexy” about a nine-year-old?
Let us say, for argument’s sake, that she is a naughty, wayward and loose little kid who throws herself at every man. What kind of man finds a child alluring? Seductive? Provocative? Sensual? Sultry? “Hot?” Inviting? Tempting? Again I ask, how it possible that she was getting clients?
Apparently this kid goes by the name “Lady B.” This would be hilarious if it wasn’t this crushing. Isn’t it heartbreaking that there is an actual market, hungry and ready to pay for sex with a child? If it was one man we would say oh well, there are criminals among us. But this child is making a living out of this and “God” knows how many “clients” she has had.
I asked my friend who’s a teacher if he’s ever been attracted to young girls. His response was, being a teacher, he couldn’t afford to be. I asked him to forget he’s a teacher for a moment and answer as just another guy. And he said well, some of these high school kids are quite attractive actually but one always has to be conscious of the fact that they are “forbidden fruit.”
This scared me on so many levels. It made me realise that reject it as we may, men are sexually attracted to children. I don’t know the real statistics as I have not carried out a formal survey but I have read enough stories of raped children to finally come to the conclusion that there are men out there who look at a child and see a woman.
This is not unique to Zimbabwe as just last month a man was arrested in India for allegedly raping and impregnating her brother’s daughter. He did not deny the allegations. The 10-year-old girl gave birth a few weeks ago and DNA tests on the baby revealed that the man in custody is not the father of the baby. This means the little girl was raped by at least two men.
In America, there is a whole industry for child sex. Cases of child pornography and child trafficking keep the FBI on their toes. The American website, Psychology Today, declared that an estimated 20% of American children have been sexually molested.
Here in Zimbabwe I have heard of bizarre cases where men rape their daughters in hope to cure certain ailments. I also know of fathers who rape their daughters after separating from their wives because they know in most cases nobody will take the word of a “bitter” ex-wife. There are men who rape their nieces, pastors who rape orphans under their care and teachers who rape students. Our children are not safe anywhere!
The sad thing is that most of these perpetrators are roaming around scot free because for some reason, our society has not evolved to a level where children are free to report rape, where mothers aren’t viewed with suspicion when reporting sexual abuse on behalf of babies, where children are not blamed for getting breadwinners arrested, a level where lying about rape is criminalised.
We need to reach a level where mothers do not protect their rapist sons vs their raped grandchildren. A level where women do not want marriage more than their children’s safety as seen in cases where a stepfather rapes his stepdaughter and the mother protects her husband from arrest.
Because of our tendency to sweep these issues under the carpet and to harass victims after reporting, I am convinced that Zimbabwe’s actual child sexual abuse statistics are alarming. Sexual feelings directed towards children are evidence of a condition known as paedophilia. This is a psychiatric/mental condition that affects a lot of men (and women) and our country needs to start taking this more seriously. Everyone I have asked about this knows at least one paedophile.
Remember that men who tried to touch your breasts when you were young? That brother of yours who always looks “greedily” at little girls? That colleague of yours who passes inappropriate comments about your students? That politician that always has a girlfriend that just turned 16?
The paedophile you know is that herdboy that made you play with his private parts when your parents had gone to a funeral. That uncle of yours who raped you when you were a child and you never told anyone. That teacher who you found stark naked in his bedroom when he asked you to clean his house for him.
Think back to when you fired that 15-year-old maid for lying that your husband raped her. To when your sister-in-law told you your brother molested their daughter and you’ve never spoken to her since. Think back to when you bumped into your son coming out of your granddaughter’s room in the middle of the night.
There is also a very high chance, that the paedophile you know, is you. We are all in this sordid crime together. The victims who never speak out, the guardians who are afraid to rock the boat, the law enforcement officers who handle these cases recklessly, the perpetrators themselves and those of us who mind our own business. In my country it is either you are a paedophile or you are protecting one!
