Benefit from exes

17 Mar, 2019 - 00:03 0 Views
Benefit from exes

The Sunday News

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

IT’S hard to imagine being grateful for your exes, but the truth is that your exes taught you a lot of valuable lessons, whether you realise it or not. You may still be bitter about what happened to you as you had a heartbreak, but definitely it came out with some lessons for you.

Be thankful that you survived and you came out super stronger. At times in life, you need not to concentrate only on the negatives, but also take time to check out the positive side. Whatever happens to you, there is always a good and bad part to it. 

After a failed relationship, you get lessons of what you need from a partner and discover what does work and doesn’t work for you. In order to learn what real love feels like, you have to see what it does not feel like. 

In life you should try and get over what happened in your previous relationships. It is sad that some people were so disappointed by their exes that they decided to give up on love issues. No, that is not the way to go. 

But out of every relationship one should get lessons and come out a better person. Past experiences should not haunt you forever and put your love life on halt.

Every relationship is a stepping stone. Life lessons are made up of experiences that will help shape us into the people of the future and give us the strength to take chances that will change our lives.

After a failed relationship which you had thought will last for a lifetime you always get to realise that sometimes love alone is not enough for the relationship’s survival. 

While you may be head over heels in love with someone, the reality is that sometimes it’s not enough. 

You must have a strong foundation built on trust, faith and other crucial elements in order to be together forever.

When you look back, you also get to realise that you must never settle for less than you deserve. 

You are meant to be respected, valued and loved. While your ex didn’t provide you with the devotion you deserve, that doesn’t mean that there’s no one out there for you. You are better than you realise.

No matter how your break-up happened, it takes strength to forge through and fortitude to move past this tough time. Your ex challenged your patience and you were able to dig deep and tap into your strength. If it wasn’t for your break-up you may not even be aware of your strength.

In the moment, ending a chapter may not always seem like the best idea — in fact you can feel beyond broken. But your ex will teach you that endings are the chance to embark on a new journey. A brighter future is the result to most endings.

Each relationship that you have will teach you how to co-exist with different personalities. Your ex will help you adapt and figure out the best way to manage your relationship. This will help you with future love interests and the other relationships that exist in your life.

As unlikely as it may seem, you will eventually find love again. Your ex has taught you that while they may not be the one — there are other fish in the sea. Don’t give up, there is someone out there for everyone.


Thank you so much for your educative column. I was also let down by my pastor. He borrowed US$500 on the pretext that he would pay back the following day, and to date he hasn’t, since 2015. 

He has been making excuses and when I reported him to senior pastor, I was told to forget about the money since I was not the only one in that scenario and that since he was the second in charge, it was not proper to lay charges against him. 

I was so hurt and I left the church. I am struggling because someone just took my money. Thanks a lot for your article.

My sister the issues to do with religion are tricky especially with the coming in of Pentecostal churches with our Men of God. 

These pastors have disappointed a lot of people. We always look up to them for guidance and directions, but a lot that brings disappointment always happens.

It is sad that our pastors do not want anyone who challenges them. They always take advantage of congregants, especially women. 

Our sisters are also being sexually abused and they fail to report the issues because they will be accused of being the devil’s angels. 

People should stop being brainwashed and never let anyone take advantage of them. I divorced my wife because of a pastor. 

He was running our home and my wife was listening to him more than she did to me. Thanks so much, you brought up a topical issue.

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