The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
MY boyfriend likes the withdrawal method and I have realised that his semen has a very bad smell which is not pleasant at all. What could be the problem? — Worried.
Reply
The good news is that semen scent probably is not related to an infection, and probably has more to do with his diet. That said it’s still a good idea for you to help your partner know that something might be amiss and he could benefit from a trip to his doctor for a full exam. Men may be able to influence the way their semen smells depending on what they eat. As with overall health, semen scent can also likely be improved by eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables.
If you could like to nudge your partner into having better smelling semen, you might also encourage him to gobble down healthy foods . . . and leave the heavy, fatty and salty foods for another time. Testing is especially important for your partner as the symptoms you describe could also indicate the presence of a sexually transmitted infection, like chlamydia or gonorrhoea. If, after testing, he does have one of these STDs, you can both be treated together. And keep in mind that both chlamydia and gonorrhoea can potentially infect the throat. So you may want to talk to your doctor, also, about a throat culture to test for these STDs. Just to be on the safe side.
Hi Sis Noe
I failed to get an erection when I wanted to have sex with my wife. I am 32 and so I don’t know what could be the problem. — Help.
Reply
I would like to reassure you that your condition cannot be classed as impotence because it has only been a problem for two weeks and in an otherwise fit young man it is almost certainly a temporary psychological one. Physical reasons for failing to sustain an erection are generally seen in a much older age group. Impotence is then likely to be due to circulatory problems as a result of hardening of the arteries or diabetes. Nerve damage through alcoholism or spinal injury is other not uncommon causes. In your situation, by far the commonest reason for you to lose the erection during sex is something called performance anxiety.
This is when thoughts come into your mind during the course of love-making that are sufficiently distracting and worrying for the reflexes that are necessary to sustain the erection. It may be that tactless remarks made by your partner have caused you to question your masculinity or skill in bed. If your partner is expecting you to be a wild tiger between the sheets and keep it up all night and guarantee her an orgasm every time, this is likely to inhibit any male, even the most red-bloodied one, and fear of not living up to these unrealistic expectations will lead to temporary impotence. Other sources of psychological impotence will include loss of interest in sex either as a result of a relationship problem, boredom, disinterest or just being out of love.
Hi Sis Noe
During sex I don’t get wet enough and my boyfriend and I end up bruised on our sexual organs. I have also never experienced an orgasm. — Worried.
Reply
Your dry vagina can be caused by not being aroused enough before sex or not wanting sex at all. Your man might be penetrating you before you are ready or maybe you are stressed. Maybe you are taking certain birth control contraceptives that cause dryness such as the Pill and Depo-Provera. Having an infection can also cause this. You could visit a doctor to find out what is wrong with you. In the meantime you can use lubrication to make yourself wet so that you avoid the painful sex you are having. As for orgasm, every woman’s experience of orgasm is different.
While some women experience powerful orgasms that feel like clear events, other women experience orgasms that are quite mild. Nearly all women appear to be capable of experiencing an orgasm, but it can take some time, practice and exploration — alone and/or with a partner — to develop some ease with orgasm.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a girl aged 16 and I broke up with my guy last week and I have not been eating since then, is it normal? And is it normal for your panties to be wet when you kiss a guy? — Confused.
Reply
When heartbroken and in emotional turmoil, it is normal for you to face difficulty when attempting to eat. It’s a sign that things are not well. But for you to overcome the problem you need to start thinking positively. The guy who broke your heart is not much of a knight in shining armour. Forget about him, he left because he does not deserve you. You are beautiful and a multitude of guys out there are dying to date you and they are far much better than this loser. To your next question, your vagina secretes fluids when you get aroused and those fluids are the ones that wet your pants. I will not say much because of space limit but that every woman gets wet when kissing.
Hi Sis Noe
I don’t know what’s wrong with me I have never enjoyed sex and I don’t feel a thing. Am I normal? — Worried.
Reply
Sexual experiences reflect the mingling of the mind and the body. What goes on in the mind is affected not only by what is going on sexually and non-sexually between the partners, but by everything that has gone on in a woman’s life. Sometimes even experiences from childhood can be relevant. This means that what you feel when your body is being stimulated by your partner depends not only on the partner’s skill, gentleness, care, and ability to be guided by your needs, but also by what is going on in your mind while this is going on. Is your mind settled? Were you once raped? Were you raised by parents who taught u that sex is bad? All these and more could be the reason you don’t enjoy sex. Go to the doctor to find out what’s wrong with you.
Hi Sis Noe
I was a virgin but I did not bleed when I had sex with my husband. — Help.
Reply
Not all women bleed when they have sex for the first time. Vaginal bleeding from first time intercourse typically occurs when a woman’s hymen tears. The hymen is a thin layer of tissue that covers part of a woman’s vaginal entrance. Although the tissue itself is thin, it is filled with blood vessels — that is why tearing the hymen can lead to bleeding. Among women who notice bleeding when they first have sex, some notice only a small amount of bleeding and others notice a significant amount. However, some girls are not born with much hymen tissue at all and so when they are older and have vaginal intercourse for the first time, they don’t notice much bleeding, if they notice any at all.
Other times girls are born with a typical amount of hymen but the hymen tears during childhood or adolescence without them even realising it. A young woman may tear her hymen while washing her vagina by inserting her finger or fingers or another object. Also, a young woman may tear her hymen while being fingered by her partner as part of sex play. Even tampon use may help to wear away parts of the hymen over time. Sports that require a lot of leg work, running, riding a bicycle can cause the hymen to tear. In other words, there are several reasons why you did not bleed during your first sexual intercourse — but that doesn’t mean that you were not a virgin. I hope this is helpful.
