The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I didnt bleed on my first sex encounter, why?
Reply
Not all women bleed when they have sex for the first time. Vaginal bleeding from first time intercourse typically occurs when a woman’s hymen tears. The hymen is a thin layer of tissue that covers part of a woman’s vaginal entrance. Although the tissue itself is thin, it is filled with blood vessels — that is why tearing the hymen can lead to bleeding.
Among women who notice bleeding when they first have sex, some notice only a small amount of bleeding and others notice a significant amount. However, some girls are not born with much hymen tissue at all and so when they are older and have vaginal intercourse for the first time, they don’t notice much bleeding, if they notice any at all.
Other times girls are born with a typical amount of hymen but the hymen tears during childhood or adolescence without them even realising it.
A young woman may tear her hymen while washing her vagina by inserting her finger or fingers or another object. Also, a young woman may tear her hymen while being fingered by her partner as part of sex play.
Even tampon use may help to wear away parts of the hymen over time. Sports that require a lot of leg work, running, riding a bicycle can cause the hymen to tear. In other words, there are several reasons why you did not bleed during your first sexual intercourse but that doesn’t mean that you were not a virgin. I hope this is helpful.
Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time the other day. It was my first time but he has done it before. I was not nervous or anything but he couldn’t get in at all. Why did this happen? — Worried.
Reply
You need to be relaxed and before your boyfriend tries to enter you, it is good to start by having foreplay, like touching, kissing, masturbating each other or having oral sex. All of these things help you to feel excited. Some positions might be easier than others too if you experiment with different positions, don’t keep trying one if it’s a painful one. It is also possible that your hymen has not stretched yet and this is why you have not been able to have sex.
It may also be because of tight vaginal muscles in response to sex. This is called vaginismus: an involuntary spasm of vaginal muscles. It sometimes happens when a person is feeling worried about having sex, is not really sure if it’s the right thing to do, or is worried about the risk of pregnancy. If you can’t insert a finger or tampon in your vagina it would be a good idea to see a doctor and have an examination and find out if there is any hymen there or if there is another cause, such as vaginismus. The best place to try would be a family planning or sexual health clinic, but any doctor you feel comfortable would be fine. If you are thinking about having sex, you also need to think about protecting yourself from STIs and unwanted pregnancy.
Hi Sis Noe
I have been married for a year but I am still not pregnant. What is wrong with me? Help please I am worried. — Worried.
Reply
Don’t you think it’s too soon to be anxious? I mean it’s only 12 months to be desperate. Pregnancy is a matter of chance. Conception does not always happen even if the egg and sperm are in the right place at the right time. The length of time it takes couples to conceive varies considerably. Failing to conceive even after a year does not necessarily mean that something is wrong. The chance of getting pregnant during a woman’s cycle varies due to a wide range of factors: For a woman aged 20 to 25, the chances of conceiving are around 25 percent for each cycle. Statistics prove that one in 10 couples will take more than a year to conceive. One of the secret tips on getting pregnant really involves the woman’s monthly cycle . . . this should really not come as a surprise, but lots of women have probably forgotten lots of their basic biology. A woman ovulates once a month, and the ovum or egg last for approximately 12 hours. During this 12-hour period, the egg has to be fertilised or it dries up and is no longer viable. Obviously, then, having unprotected sex any other time of the month could not possibly result in conception.
It is only when you have sex during the 12-HOUR WINDOW that a couple can conceive — it’s really quite miraculous that a woman can even get pregnant at all! When a couple is trying to conceive, the trick is to catch the egg around day 14 of the woman’s monthly cycle. To add to the difficulty, every woman’s cycle is different. The 28-day cycle is the average, but normal cycles can vary from 23 days to 35 days. So please stop worrying, keep going at it like rabbits. Hopefully, before long there will be a bun in the oven.
Hi Sis Noe
One of my breasts is painful and I am scared that it might be cancer. — Worried.
Reply
Pain in the breast is a common symptom, which is rarely due to cancer. The normal cyclical breast pain is related to hormone imbalances. Temporary increased oestrogen production may result in breast pain, fullness and nodularity. The oestrogen stimulates proliferation of the ductal system and supporting tissues in the breasts. Sometimes pain in the breast is due to conditions in the chest wall which feels like breast pain.
Such conditions could be a pulled muscle, an inflammatory process of the cartilage around the ribs or heart angina which may be felt as breast pain. Your soreness could be related to changes in your hormones but you should report this to your doctor for further evaluation. Stop worrying until you know the cause. It might be nothing.
