The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
MY boyfriend is after sex only. We don’t go out and he does not buy me stuff. All he wants is to have sex with me. If I refuse he leaves or does not come to see me. We never go out, everytime we are together we will be in the bedroom having sex. The sex is good I don’t want to lie but it seems that is all he wants. — Tired.
Reply
This guy only wants to penetrate you, nothing more. He is not interested in who you are, he is only interested in sex.
He sounds utterly appalling — he is a user and sleaze ball. We are all allowed to admit that we have made a mistake.
Being with him was the mistake you made. My feeling is that you could be so much better off without him. You can never know a person until you have spent some time with them. Now that you know him better, you finally realise that he is about as interesting as a plank of wood. That is fine. You and he have nothing in common and he is not what you are looking for, so cut your losses and move on. I suggest you brush yourself off, make it clear to him that you and he have no future and start afresh. You will have much better sex in future with someone you actually love and respect.
Hi Sis Noe
My girlfriend is very beautiful but she lies like a log during sex. She rarely touches me or makes sounds to show that she is enjoying. She never initiates sex. I have also tried to have sex with her in other positions but she refuses. What can I do? — Worried.
Reply
I suspect your girlfriend lacks confidence. If she was sexually inexperienced when you met, it could be that she doesn’t have any skills to draw on. I suggest you go right back to basics. Organise some get-together days and take intercourse off the menu. Lead by example. Offer your girlfriend an oily massage and encourage her to please you too. Show her what you like and ask her to be honest about her needs. But, if she just doesn’t get it, maybe you and she are not destined to be. You might not be sexually compatible. That could be a pity because other men will walk away from her as well. Before you walk try to teach her, maybe she is redeemable.
Hi Sis Noe
I am teaching my girlfriend’s mother Mathematics and Science. The problem is that she loves touching me and on WhatsApp she flirts with me. She is always home alone when I am teaching her because my girlfriend works, her husband died years ago. I am on leave from work. When I tell her I will teach her in the evening when my girlfriend is around she refuses and tells me she wants to be with me alone. What is going on? — Curious.
Reply
I think you know what is going on. She is seducing you and she wants to have sex with you. Trust your instincts and run for the hills boy before it’s too late. If you don’t feel comfortable with this woman’s suggestion, if you worry that she has an ulterior motive for getting you in her house, then tell her you are going to stop tutoring her. She needs to understand that you are an up-front guy. You do not tolerate nonsense. If she wants sex, tell her to get a boyfriend. If she is failing to get one, direct her to me, I will get her a boyfriend. You don’t lie to your girlfriend and you don’t sneak into houses or have secrets. Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by anyone.
Hi Sis Noe
People tell me that my girlfriend cheats on me with many men. I am based in Harare and I come to Bulawayo every monthend. Every time I am here, I hear stories that my girlfriend has slept with this and that guy. When I ask her she tells me people hate her so they lie in order for us to break up. She always cries that I don’t trust her when I ask her and I end up apologising. — Confused.
Reply
Rub that mud out of your eyes and wake up. Surely if virtually everyone you know hates your girlfriend, then doesn’t that tell you something? I cannot believe they are wrong and your girlfriend is right. The fact is that we all do stupid things from time to time. But it sounds as if your girlfriend does monumental things every time. Just how many strange men get into her panties during your absence? Does she think it’s fair that you are humiliated by different men who tell you about her behaviour? Ask her to see things from your point of view. I worry that the longer you stick around the more your mental and sexual health will suffer. She is not worth it. Move on.
Hi Sis Noe
I am always fantasizing about having sex with my friend’s husband. I dream about him and I think about him. When I have sex with my husband I pretend that I am having it with him and I enjoy a lot. I am always looking at him when I visit my friend and I think he has realised because now we stare at each other. — Worried .
Reply
We all get unfathomable crushes from time to time. It’s only natural to get turned on by an attractive individual, but you have to accept that this man is not yours for the taking. Use your newly-found sexual energy to inject some excitement into your own relationship. Do not cross the line and sleep with your friend’s husband because if you do nothing in any of your lives will ever be the same again — and I’m not saying that in a good way. Even if your friend does not find out, your friendship will suffer. Each time you are with her, you feel guilty. If she finds out, a war of Biblical proportions will break out and it will not affect only you and him but your marriages and the children. I don’t think an orgasm induced by him is worth losing what you have. Fantasize but do not let your fantasy come true.
Sis Noe
I have just discovered that my husband is friends with some homosexual men. I have also had rumours that he sleeps with men. Recently I went through his phone and stumbled upon pictures of naked men and images of penises. — Horrified.
Reply
I have no way of knowing what is going on in his head or what he is feeling in his heart, but you have eyes and you know what you saw. It’s very sad if he has only married you to keep up an image. Confront him, demand answers and explain to him that you are not prepared to be used by anyone. You have to know where you stand because you have your own plans and dreams and if he is not completely on the same track then you will have to part. You cannot be with a man who sleeps with other men. Move on.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a 30-year-old guy. I am tired of being with women of my age. They are so immature. I am looking for a woman aged 30 to 40 who wants to be in a relationship with me. I am based in Bulawayo. I am a 28-year-old woman I need a man aged 30 to 35.
Reply
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