The Sunday News
Christopher Mlalazi
AM excited, literally over the moon!
I have invented a new word. Yes, a brand spanking new one! And I am sure this one will one day get into the Oxford or Plumtree Concise dictionaries, as it is a gem.
Maybe one day too I might win an award or two for it, maybe a National Arts Merit Award (Nama) for Outstanding Word Invention.
I know by now you are curious what this word that has me going crazy is — but hang on please we don’t want people with mawalas, you will know about it when the time comes.
Eh, by the way, what is “amawala” in English. I searched and searched in my mind until I gave up, and that is why I finally settled for “mawalas.” But you have guessed wrong, this is not the word I have invented.
Let’s imagine this, at the beginning of the world, right at the very start of it when human beings first appeared on earth, did people know how to talk? Or, did they have languages?
I am inclined to think the first human beings began as babies from wherever they were born. They can’t have been born as adults ngoba that would have been imihlolo.
Well, the Bible says there was Adam and Eve, and we see pictures of these two as adults, and never as babies, but well again, that is the Bible and its interpretation of genesis and we will leave it at that.
You know I have always wondered, before we had Western religions in Africa, and those others from the East, we had our own African traditional beliefs that explain natural phenomena isn’t it so?
But if you can search me, I have never had an African traditional religion theory of how the earth, human beings, animals, the trees and rivers were all born.
Yes, I think we have to ask our healers, izangoma, izinyanga this very important question — but I hope they won’t say that the earth began at the throw of bones, or that it is taboo to ask this question, and should you break the taboo, you will be hit by lightning or fall into a bottomless hole or something like that.
I was talking to my Emakhandeni township friend yesterday on WhatsApp, and ayas, he says that life began in Emakhandeni before it was a township and then spread to the rest of the world. He says, “that is why in history books they say life began in Africa, just come to Emakhandeni and you will see.”
I shall not speak, so said Albert Nyathi.
So you see, I like “landisaling.” I started off by saying I have just invented a gem of a word, and now where am I, very far away talking about life beginning in Emakopo, so let me stop beating about the bush.
The word. Yes that brand spanking new word. Here it is. It’s “jolking.” It’s a lovely word isn’t it? Almost like “yolk,” but it is not “yolk.” If it had a colour I think it would be yellow with its closeness to “yolk.” And if it had a friend, it would be “yolk.” Yes Jolk and Yolk playing on the street.
And so what does this word mean? Okay I will tell you. I coined it yesterday when I was jogging in the morning. But let me tell you how I jog first so as to get you into context.
You see, I am now on the better side of 40 years of age, and so what this means is that I am no longer a fit and muscular young man who runs like a leopard. I sort of crawl along at a modest pace, a bit faster than a tortoise, but not slower than a car that is being pushed.
So what I do is this. I don’t jog all the way in the one hour distance that I normally cover, rather I jog for 15 minutes, fast walk 15, jog again 15 and so on until I hit my destination.
And so, as I was covering the miles in my sneakers, I suddenly thought that I am not jogging or walking, but I am “jolking.” This is a combination of the two words, jogging and walking, like you take “jo” from jogging, and “liking” from walking.
So you see, Mlalazi kaDumane kaNgalonde kaNsimbi is a word scientist. Applause!
