The Sunday News
Aunty Charity
IT has been said that love makes the world go round. It has also been said that money is the root of all evil and when it comes to sex, “use it or lose it” seems to sum it up.
In this society, so many of us are caught up in the pursuit of all three that is love, sex and money but not necessarily in any particular order. A common statement that most of us have probably heard countless times is that men think about sex every seven seconds; however, there seems to be no research to validate that claim so far.
In fact, it is said that 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week, and four percent actually think about sex less than once a month. Another common statement states that women have sex to get love and men show love in order to get sex, please note this too is also a catchy statement.
Many women have sex for all sorts of reasons that have very little to do with love, I mean some women I know often have sex to please themselves.
They don’t do it for anyone but they do it because they want to. Some men often pursue women that appeal to them for more than outward sexual attractiveness.
Every man’s interests and desires are different and are best known to them.
Some men value a woman’s intellect, others are touched by her softness and sensitivity and there are also men who love an aggressive and outspoken woman.
The sexual desire and sexual thoughts result from the woman’s personal qualities in addition to her outward appearance.
Obviously, there are many men who pursue women just for sex, but for many men that lasts for a brief period of time before they actually fall in love with a woman or for brief period of time between relationships.
Money also seals the deal, in most cases most of us are seeking money in the hope of attaining a better life and fulfilling all of our dreams that we intend to turn into reality. As they say, “Money can’t buy love” but as a close friend of mine always used to say, “Maybe money can’t buy love, but it certainly can pay the bills and make me happy.” Love seems to get the short end of the stick because many of us say we want to love and be loved, with no condition.
I think as long as the other person remains true, offers us understanding, compassion, excitement, wisdom, support, financial security, and whatever else we think is important in our life and never does anything to hurt us by cheating, addictive toxic behaviours, business failure and loss of expected income, or emotional instability then we can love this person unconditionally.
Loving and being loved is not a fairytale, it is day-to-day, moment-to-moment, self-expression, sharing and communication, not every partner communicates in the style and the words or as often as we might desire because not every partner shares their innermost thoughts or their current activities and not every partner knows how to love and be loved.
Most of us know by now that the fairytale happily ever after stories are full of loop holes. Dashing men on horses do not usually rescue helpless women and live happily ever after in real life.
But most of us don’t know how inaccurate our current popular expectations and beliefs are about what makes marriage work are (and by this I mean any long term committed romantic relationship).
Mostly we look at such things as divorce statistics and see that a lot of them do not work. This assessment is also unfair, given that this does not include long term committed relationships outside of marriage, nor does it consider that relationships may last several decades and still be included in divorce statistics. Most importantly, the numbers do not tell us what allowed some relationships to last and others to break up, and they do not tell us how much overall satisfaction existed in those relationships that stayed together or melted down.
Do you know how to love and be loved? Have you ever even thought about it and can you honestly say you are doing it right? Books and e-Books and seminars are proliferating about how to make money, even in a down trodden economy people still can afford to pay for Amai Gunguwo’s cds and since sex sells, there are numerous financial benefits to gain from writing and talking about how to perform better and remain sexually attractive, attracted and active.
Only a few books or people or seminars truly teach us how to love in such a way that we deal with sexual desire, sexual activity, financial concerns, stress, healing, our own unique childhood upbringing, and the emotions that get triggered in us by our most intimate partners. I mean let’s face it love, sex and money play a big role in our lives.
Let’s keep talking e-mail [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>
