The Sunday News
“YOU ignored an important fact in that prayer article of yours,” a reader confronted me soon after she read the piece. “You did not point out that the duty of praying is now confined to women. In every gathering where both genders are present, the chairperson always yanks out a woman and tasks her to pray. In a gathering of 11 men and one woman, rest assured, the woman is expected to pray.”
Being a doubting Thomas, I did not take the reader’s word for it. For the past month, I have kept a record of the gender ratio of who prays in all the gatherings I attended. My accuser is right. Praying is 100 percent a woman’s task.
Why should I be surprised? Division of labour along gender lines is the way we do things in our communities. Come with me to a typical scene at a funeral wake.
Women will be busy bodies. Some with babies strapped on their backs, will take out the curtains, clear the sitting room, bring in the mattresses and blankets and comfort the directly bereaved. They take out chairs and sofas for men to sit on.
Men sit outside and in hushed tones, briefly express amazement at the cruelty of death. After a few minutes of silence, they engage in lively discussions of politics and football. Like a popular television soap opera having a commercial break, the men occasionally interrupt the discussions so as to welcome arriving mourners.
With sad faces, the men greet the new comers, slowly shake their low hanging heads and spread out their hands to express helplessness in the face of death and mutter, “asazi”. As soon as the new arrivals go into the house, the men stretch out their necks like ostriches and resume the lively discussions.
Towards evening, the women start preparing meals for the mourners and for the evening prayers. To be fair to men, three of them work during the prayers. One acts as the master of ceremony, another gives the word and the third announces funeral arrangements. The singing and praying is done by women.
After prayers women serve meals, collect plates and wash up. Throughout the night, the women sing, serve tea and comfort the bereaved.
Like boy scouts at a camp, men sit round a bonfire all night and regale each other with a wide variety of stories. Those with a rural background relive their hunting experiences and their confrontations with wild animals and snakes. City slickers narrate stories about old gang wars and memorable football matches. If the stories cannot keep you awake, never mind, beer will.
Bakithi, is it not time we thought about modifying this division of labour? In the past men had to sit out of the hut to protect the body of the deceased and women from hyenas and other predators. This threat is no more. Why then continue an arrangement that has outlived its original purpose?
I suggest we delve into the past, pull out an old work arrangement, brush it up, and apply it to today’s situation.
In Bantu culture, people of a similar age and gender were placed in one group (intanga). Each intanga was responsible for a variety of tasks. This included herding livestock, fetching firewood, cooking and performing certain rituals and ceremonies. Over the years members of each intanga were put together to perform changing tasks and were viewed by the rest of society as one.
In this age of gender equality, the arrangement could be brought back minus the emphasis on gender. In other words, various age groups regardless of gender would carry out identical tasks at social gatherings.
For instance, at a funeral wake arrangements could be as follows: men and women between the ages 20 and 30 would receive and usher mourners, pitch up tents, chop firewood, and wash up; those between 31 and 45 would make fires, prepare the main mourning room and cook; those between 46 and 60 would sing, comfort the bereaved, arrange prayer sessions and make announcements; the 61 and above would give guidance on tradition, oversee all proceedings and make adjustments as and when necessary.
Overlaps in performing the tasks would be inevitable but as noted, those aged 61 and above would make sure that all activities run smoothly. Each intanga would be held responsible for the failure of the group’s tasks.
Back now to the reader who accused me of failure to mention the expectation that only women are tasked to pray at gatherings. I admit you have a point. To correct this, let us adopt the Intanga Method of Task Allocation.
From now on, praying tasks will be done by age groups. Each intanga will be allocated a prayer item or theme. For instance, praying before a meal could be given to the 16 and below while praying for the rains is for the 61 and above.
I am aware that readers of this column are a creative and progressive lot. I therefore will not deny you the pleasure of working out the prayer items for various intangas. So go ahead, dear reader, create your own age groups and allocate prayer items for each.
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