The Sunday News
Max Manzini, Sunday Life Reporter
NO, not quite the virgin you are thinking of! Virgin as in this was my first time at a strip club. I had never experienced live adult entertainment until last Monday which may be odd to some of you since I’m a 30-something single guy.
The major reason why I hadn’t gone before is that the whole strip tease craze started when I was in a serious relationship and didn’t see the need, or rather couldn’t find a way of saying “Honey I’m just hitting the strip joint”. So since I’m still adjusting to my new single status, my boss thought it might be a good idea to hit the strip joint.
We got to the Bulawayo joint around 9pm and as we entered my heart was pumping thinking that we would be greeted by naked flesh as soon as we walked in the club. Instead we walked into a normal looking bar which looked a little deserted but my boss carried on to the main bar which was where all the action was.
My first look was at the empty stage and I presumed this is where the strippers (or dancers to use a more industry friendly term) do their thing.
The club itself was rather cosy and classy with a very professional outlook. I then looked around at the crowd which was made up of mainly urban hip men in their thirties sitting on comfortable looking couches with sprinklings of video vixen women walking around in bum shorts and tiny tops. I tried not to look like a newcomer so I perched coolly by the bar area, ordered my first drink and looked back at the empty stage.
The boss had disappeared to the VIP section which I didn’t want to go to because it was far from the stage and thought the centre of the bar had the best view.
Action time! The DJ announced dancers were about to go on stage which prompted a couple of guys to take seats right by the stage. Two skimpily dressed dancers then got on stage and immediately got into their act. I’m not sure if I can call it dancing but it was more like erotic vibrating and twirling to the rhythm of a thumping beat. The next song came on and they started taking off pieces of their clothing. They were really skilled at their craft of seduction making good use of the floor, the walls and poles on stage as their dancing partners. I had to take a huge gulp of the cold stuff just to keep from getting too hot. By the third song they were semi-naked.
I tried to keep myself together and take it all in. A few of the guys in front obliged with tips finding creative ways of handing them over. Their session ended and they got off the stage with cash collections from content fans.
Phew! I had read it many times and seen it on TV, but witnessing it live was something else. I was onto my second drink and couldn’t wait for the next dancers. Then the DJ made another announcement “It’s go wild time”. Suddenly there were close to a dozen dancers going into the crowd randomly lap-dancing with people. I didn’t expect that! One dancer who I must say reminded me of my ex, physically that is, headed in my direction. I was freaking out. She got up on the bar behind me and just went wild. My heart was in my mouth. She climbed down and went to the guy next to me and started twerking her goodies aggressively in front of him. Surprisingly he didn’t seem interested, so she moved on.
With all the different spices, shapes and sizes you can imagine, the dancers did their rounds for a couple of songs and there were a lot of happy faces in the crowd.
Two more dancers went on and at this point I asked myself how one decides they want to get paid/tipped for strip teasing in front of strangers? More curiously though, who comes to watch them? Surely not all these guys are single. Did they come here to escape from the madam? Let off some steam? Get inspired? Get lucky?
The DJ then dared a couple who were definitely not part of the professional line-up to go on stage and dance for a possible reward. They gave a decent account of themselves but when the guy started putting his hands where they didn’t belong, his girl ran off the stage.
Maybe my alcohol consumption had started to take effect, but I finally get it. I now understand why people go to strip clubs. It’s just a good night out enjoying adult entertainment, kuphela.
The whole night I had been eyeing the dancer who resembled my ex and she saw me looking at her and came over to say hi. I told her it’s my first time at the club but she didn’t believe me. I decidednot to tell her who she reminds me of in case she called me a liar again. We chatted and she told me more about herself, that is when I realised these are just average everyday people.
Just my luck as her name was called up and she had to go on stage to perform. I figured I now had an excuse to sit on the stage seats so I immediately went there but before she went on stage, there was a guy already on stage. The DJ told us it was the guy’s birthday so he will get to dance with his favourite stripper. He made the most of his birthday present. Wow, to be a birthday boy in a strip club! His mates cheered him as he gotoff the stage. “My girl” came on and time flew, her routine was over before I could even tip her. I saw her when she was done and told her I wanted to tip her. She said I wasn’t too late. She gave me a lap dance, twice.
Time really does fly. It was almost 2am, the boss signalled we had to leave so we made our exit.
They say what happens at a strip club remains at the strip club. What I want to know is, after getting your appetite whetted, what happens next?
