The Sunday News
Pastor Kilton Moyo
WELL let me tread into a thorny area today. I know that many of us in marriage are traumatised by children sired by our spouses outside wedlock to the extent that many marriages are war zones and almost finished. It is December now, the month most people try their best to be good towards each other and so I would start by encouraging someone to extend their love to the innocent children caught up in their parental wars and affairs.
Ask yourself this one little question. How long will you fight each other over an innocent child who never asked anyone to give birth to them? What wrong did the child do? Sometimes there is need that we get over our emotional stress and be sober so we can allow ourselves to enjoy life. I know that many couples are troubled by this and are at war even as I write. I am here to tell you that you can solve your issue now and enjoy yourselves the best way possible.
We can also help you by listening to you and walking through it with you. There is a solution to it. Just believe. To do this it begins with sobering up and making a decision of love that transforms all. Love endures all things and love covers a multitude of sins. What you need is to learn to walk in love and to let go so life and love can prevail. Let me help you if you are in that situation. If your husband or wife happens to have a child outside because of whatever reason, how best can you handle the child so as to rebuild your marriage? Should you fight both the spouse and the child? How will this help you?
Please understand this clearly. The anger of a man does not bring about the righteousness of God. It is understandable to be angry and pained but it cannot be forever. At some point you have to outgrow the pain so you can enjoy your life.
The most proven way of dealing with such pain is to accept the child and mother or father. This brings healing faster than you can imagine and helps you re-build your relationship with focus and intention.
The child is innocent. Accepting them is doing exactly what Jesus expects you to do and He will heal you faster. Jesus teaches that “anyone who accepts one of these little ones in my name accepts Me”. When you accept Jesus you accept healing, restoration, peace and progress in your life. You will agree with me that many families are rocked by these and many have even gone to the extent of bewitching each other and doing all sorts of injustices towards others. You cannot correct a wrong with a wrong. You cannot overcome evil with evil. The Bible teaches that only good can overcome evil.
That is why I would encourage my beloved out there to exercise kindness and goodness particularly in the season of goodness.
Do something you have never done and do it for the Lord. You will see how much He will reward you. Many children are in the wilderness because of parental squabbles and differences. Could this not be the season to engage and heal? Could this not be the season to grow up and be humane and do things a normal way? It’s all up to you but each child deserves to be celebrated no matter what.
That child who has never seen their father or mother needs to be celebrated. That child you call names because of parental wrongs and sins, needs to be celebrated. That orphaned child needs to be celebrated. If all of us made an effort to make the world a better place for childhood, I think God will be pleased. “Let the children come to me. Do not hinder them for to such is the kingdom of God.” These were Jesus’ profound words responding to His disciples’ cold heartedness to children brought to Him to bless them.
Jesus never discriminated or asked for their birth certificates or parentage. He blessed them all. He loves them all. He wants them all. He expects us to love them all. Perhaps in this season when you are celebrating His birthday, you would do it better by celebrating childhood. Childhood is one and the same no matter the statuses we ascribe to it. You better not celebrate His birthday if you cannot celebrate the child within your reach. Celebrate you wife’s blood. Celebrate your husband’s blood. Then this can make you real and a being of love. The challenge is we are too fake and too cruel. Children are innocent.
I do understand your anger and struggling and pain and thinking but I am here to say to you there is a better way to handle this and it brings healing faster and better. What are you going to do this season? Think of that child out there you have shunned for all these years. Celebrate them. Send them a gift. Love them and hug them for the sake of Christ and your sake.
Jesus is about love and forgiveness. We are cheating ourselves if we think we can celebrate him and be friends with Him while we are seeing devils in our own children and the children in the neighborhood.
I want to propose a love revolution even in your pain. You can do it and now is the time. That is the way out. The way to victory over our pains and shame is loving people and loving those who hurt us and loving the innocent in our midst. Children are victims of circumstances and they deserve love and not cruelty.
It’s the festive season give love and receive love. Give it genuinely and receive it genuinely. Start at home. Start with your blood and then reach out to the hurting world. Celebrate the children and protect them wherever you are. If you really want to walk in love this season towards such children but you finding it hard to get started, you can call us and we will help you.
Otherwise its time you celebrated that child.
Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or WhatsApp on +263775337207, +263772610103 or +263712384841. [email protected]
