The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I don’t know what is wrong with me but I seem to get aroused when I am on my periods a lot. Is this normal? — Worried.
Reply
Women of reproductive age report fluctuations in their sex drive throughout their menstrual cycle. This well-researched topic of interest has resulted in conflicting information, making it difficult to reach definitive conclusions. The most well-known biological theory is that women feel their sex drive kick into highest gear during ovulation at mid-cycle, approximately 14 days before they get their next period. While some women get mood swings, cramps and low libido during periods you belong to the other group that gets highly aroused during menstruation. The possibility of pregnancy is reduced (but not eliminated) during menstruation, and this may free women to feel more sexual during this time. Also, there is more pelvic congestion during a woman’s periods, so she is already experiencing this heaviness, which may trigger or translate to arousal. Furthermore, because of the periods, there is additional lubrication, making penetration more comfortable.
Hi Sis Noe
My husband’s organ is erect most of the time. My question is it because I am not giving him enough sex? — Worried.
Reply
Just because you have bought beer doesn’t mean you are going to drink it — in other words men can get erections without feeling sexually excited. These spontaneous erections, are perfectly normal and common, popping up when guys are eating dinner, are called on in class, riding a bike, watching a movie, reading, sleeping, talking with grandma, or doing just about anything else. The majority of the time they will go away on their own, usually within a few minutes. Sometimes the feel of a new pair of underwear or a deep sense of relaxation can cause an erection, but more often than not, hormones are at the root of unexpected hard-ons. When boys go through puberty, hormones surge in their bodies and cause erections that are not under their control; these spontaneous erections decrease in frequency with age. Likewise, it is also possible for men to desire sexual contact and not have erections. Both situations are perfectly natural and may occur throughout the life-cycle. There are many factors that influence both erections and sexual desire. Many men will discover a pattern over time. The hormonal influence causing spontaneous erections can make it difficult for you to see patterns. So stop worrying — your husband’s organ has a mind of its own. I am sure you satisfy him.
Hi Sis Noe
I have a problem Sis Noe, it makes me embarrassed. When having sex with my boyfriend my organ makes a sound as if I am farting. — Ashamed.
Reply
Vaginal farts occur when air gets into your organ during arousal, penetration, and even exercise. During arousal, the vagina lengthens and the uterus moves, creating more air space. Often, the farting sound occurs when the walls of the vagina and uterus return to their unaroused positions. Extra lube may make the difference. You also may want to stay away from certain positions for a while, to spare yourself the embarrassment. Your other option is to just laugh about it and say your vagina is complaining or something.
Hi Sis Noe
I am having problems with my husband. One time he threatened to leave me. I always suspected that he was cheating but he denied it. I now have evidence that he was having an affair. He now wants to save our marriage. Should I tell him I know he was cheating? — Worried.
Reply
The discovery of an affair is always devastating, and even if you both want to be together, it does take time to repair the marriage and rebuild the trust. Though you are afraid that telling him you know about the affair might work against rebuilding the marriage, I think it would actually make it more difficult if you carried this secret for the rest of your life. One of the most important things that makes a marriage work is for the couple to be able to communicate about everything, the good and the bad. From what you say I don’t think this has happened in your relationship. So if you want it to be different in the future, you really do have to be open with each other. He needs to understand and regret the hurt he has caused you. You need to discuss why he had the affair, why he felt he did not love you and how he feels now. You also need to talk about how you would like the future to be and what changes you would both like.
Hi Sis Noe
I have not had sex with my husband for three years because it’s painful for me. I have gone to doctors but nothing seems to work. I fear that he will leave me. One doctor told me I have vaginitis but the problem has not ended. — Worried.
Reply
If it is vaginitis your doctor should have been able to prescribe antibiotics or other medication. However, I wonder if the problem could be vaginismus, which is an involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles sometimes caused by the anticipation of pain. This condition makes penetration either painful or impossible but it is treatable. Ask your doctor to refer you to a gynaecologist or specialist who is trained in psychosexual medicine. There are such things as dilators that can be used in the privacy of your home to help you relax and in time make penetration possible.
