The Sunday News
PEOPLE have been writing to me to help them to improve their sex life and I have given out tips of how to make their beds hot. But one thing I have not told them is that their bad sex life could be due to poor health.
One of the biggest factors affecting the enjoyment of sex is the health of the body. Smoking cigarettes constricts the capillaries and blood vessels in the body, which restricts blood flow to the genitals and thus decreases sexual enjoyment.
Alcohol and other caffeine sources destroy vital vitamin B elements within the body, making us more lethargic.
This lethargy and lack of physical vitality not only communicates itself to our partner during sex, but also comes across when we are on the look-out for a partner.
Isn’t it ironic that the two most consumed items in a bar or nightclub environment — alcohol and cigarettes — are the two greatest killers of good sex?
Vitamin B, which is burnt up by the metabolising of alcohol, also makes us more relaxed. So while the alcohol is loosening us up on the one hand, it is destroying our Vitamin B levels — when the alcohol has been metabolised from our bodies, we become very low on Vitamin B — and thus the hangover.
Our bodies function best when they contain optimum levels of amino acids, nutrients and other chemicals required for the chemical lab we call a body. Unfortunately, modern lifestyles generally do not allow for the proper intake of such chemicals; and so, the majority of the population is functioning improperly.
So, you can stand out from the crowd by simply being healthier; you will project an aura of energy and vitality that will make you feel great — and if you feel great, other people feel great about you.
In short, to have a great sex life, eat healthy food, exercise and drink less alcohol.
Irregular periods and infertility
I have also received many enquiries about the relationship between irregular periods and infertility. In short, irregular periods are common in infertile women.
However, many women are very confused about the relation between irregular periods and their infertility. They naively assume that once their periods become regular, they will conceive.
While it is easy to make the periods regular by putting a woman on birth control pills, this will not help her to get pregnant.
You need to remember that irregular periods just like infertility are only a symptom, and not a diagnosis, irregular periods are also just a symptom of an underlying problem called anovulation, or not ovulating.
It is the underlying anovulation which causes both the irregular periods and the infertility, and this is what needs to be treated.
Infertile women with irregular periods need the following medical tests: blood test for measuring the level of the reproductive hormones, FSH, LH, PRL and TSH on Day 3 of their cycle, so the reason for their anovulation is discovered.
Once the problem is known, doctors can treat it by inducing ovulation.
Issues with Norplant
I have also received a lot of messages from women complaining about the side effects of Norplant. My advice is — if it is giving you problems, use another contraceptive. Norplant has many side effects including menstrual irregularities, headaches, mood changes, hirsutism, galactorrhea, and acne. Absolute contraindications include active undiagnosed genital bleeding, acute liver disease, benign or malignant liver tumours, known or suspected breast cancer, and a history of idiopathic intracranial hypertension. Relative contraindications include heavy cigarette smoking, a history of ectopic pregnancy, diabetes mellitus, hypercholesterolemia, severe acne, hypertension, and a history of cardiovascular disease, severe vascular or migraine headaches, and severe depression. No need to wonder why in the USA it is a banned substance. It is largely used by third world countries which somehow allow controversial medical things to pass through out of desperation.
Appropriate candidates are women who are postpartum or breastfeeding, women who have difficulty with contraceptive compliance, women in whom pregnancy is contraindicated due to a medical condition, and patients with contraindications to the use of estrogen.
Long distance relationships
A good section of my readers are in long distance relationships and most have no idea how to sustain their relationships. If you are in such a relationship, here is how you can keep it ticking.
Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetheart is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives.
Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, to communicate better since you don’t have face-to-face time and to test and express your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise.
Don’t fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time she or he decides to go out for a drink with people you haven’t met or that she or he didn’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean your lives will pause.
Your partner will naturally have a social life where she or he lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
A relationship must be built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two of you should be reasonable about your expectations and you should be willing to co-operate so that the relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about. But don’t forget to ask some questions because if you don’t, your partner may start to think that you are losing interest.
You must also try to make time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some rules about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them.
Consistency can help a long distance relationship survive.
PLEASE NOTE
Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to run Soul mates this week. However, next week we will be back. Keep your requests coming.
