The Sunday News
Charles Dube
Was it by mere coincidence that the Church Man and Church Woman visit Clopas and Shamiso, at a time when their desperation for a child is very high? Remember these church people come in immediately after Shamiso has taken the stuff offered to them by Sekuru.
They emphasise that they come in the name of God. As stated last week the Church Man and the Church Woman they plant their seed of fertile ground. They tell the couple what they want to hear.
The couple desperately needs a child. Questions are being thrown around as to the capability of the couple to have a child. In a traditional set up such kind of talk makes life uncomfortable for the young couple.
At the end of the prayer session together the Church Man and the Church Woman give a very big thank you to the Lord Jesus. They go on to call him Sweet Jesus. Is the adjective sweet necessary in describing the Lord Jesus Christ?
Triumphantly, the Church Man declares that the Lord has revealed to them that their wish (Clopas and Shamiso’s) will be fulfilled several times over.
They go on to use story connectives to show how quick their prayer has been answered and is going to deliver the results: very soon, now-, already, this minute, this second -. They both close this emphasis with, “Praise the Lord.” These church people are not done yet. The Church Woman tells the couple that they shall have three children
The Church Man adds: “Two boys and one girl.” The names of those children have already been suggested as the Church Woman lists them in this order: Benjamin, Esther and Peter . . However, the Church Man emphasises the need for them to pray hard to see their wishes through. The Church Woman tells them to have faith so that all shall be granted. Finally, the Church Man and Church Woman invite the couple for their Sunday services at eight in the morning and they are welcome to join them.
These church people give a lot of praise singing to their church.
They speak highly of it. Their church is near the cattle market. The Church Man shows close association of their church to the Lord Jesus Christ: “Just like the manger in which our Lord Baby Jesus was born – Clopas is excited and straightaway agrees that they would attend. This excites the Church Man and the Church Woman who conclude with “Praise the Lord.”
Shamiso remains thoughtfully about the idea of having three children. Clopas is over the moon about that and slowly repeats the names of the children, Benjamin, Esther and Peter and calls them nice names.
Shamiso is confused as to how they even knew that they wanted a child. First she says it was the matron at the clinic, that Sekuru and his tubers, and now these church people – Clopas responds philosophically to what Shamiso is saying:
“It’s a big, confusing world, Shami. Who’s right? Who can tell, or decide, what the future holds? Well, what shall we do? I say, let’s go to the church. It can’t do us any harm.” Clopas is moving too fast and Shamiso encourages him to exercise caution.
She tells Clopas that it is only Monday and they have the whole week to decide. Time has moved and Shamiso is visibly pregnant. Clopas and Shamiso have joined the church of the Church Woman and Church Man. They are already in appropriate church gear and Clopas is giving a testimony.
Clopas is in collar and tie while Shamiso is now in ankle-length dress. Clopas addresses the congregants starting with a strong Halleluyah! He relates his sins to the church. He begins by stating that he was a man caught up in the jaws of the devil.
He says he was a Jonah whom the shark swallowed and almost never spat, a Saul on the road to Damascus whom the lightning struck at the very last minute, a Legion possessed by a thousand demons. He says he was a rotting man. He adds that the God he knew was Father Christmas and the Jesus of Easter holidays.
Clopas says he went to church to please those knew him, to satisfy his lust by gazing at the lithe bodies of young women and other men’s wives. He continues saying that he did anything for money. He lied.
He cheated. He stole. He gambled at cards and if he lost he slashed his rivals with knives and cast them into hell. This testimony was too far-fetched to be true as the church people exclaim, “Haaa! In shock. They are shocked to hear such stunning revelations from a man thy lived with all along.
Clopas is not done yet as he goes on with his testimony consisting of horrible revelations. He says he killed for money. He says he married in sin, this beautiful young woman they know as his wife. He gets too excited so that what he says does not go well with his wife Shamiso. He adds that they were married not in a church, but in a village where old men and women practised sinful ancient rituals. We will continue from here next time.
Book review: Harvest of Thorns Classic: A play by Shimmer Chinodya. For views link with [email protected] or sms to 0772113207.
