The Sunday News
Nhlalwenhle Ncube
A HEARTBREAK is terrible and it’s something that you would never want to put yourself through!
Anyone is capable of breaking your heart, but it seems married men are chief heartbreakers. They cause pain to a number of women at the same time. For instance you can find out that the wife, the mistress and baby mama are having sleepless nights because of one man who has disappointed them and tortured their hearts.
When you are in love with a married man you will realise that your relationship is all about lies. He will lie about his marriage saying it’s a matter of time before it collapses. By so doing, he is buying time and definitely knows that before you know it, you will be madly in love with him.
With time, you slowly start to realise that your relationship is a vulnerable one, it’s not invincible. It’s a relationship that you can potentially lose. It’s a relationship that isn’t set in stone and it scares you.
The idea of losing a relationship that you have invested yourself so much in really terrifies you. But that’s the sad reality that comes with being in a relationship with a married man. They do not last forever and end with heartbreaks.
You never want to be so unfortunate to find yourself in a heartbreaking experience. Before you give him your heart, make sure you are ready for the consequences.
If you are in love with a married man, some might even call you his mistress, but in your eyes, your relationship means so much more than that.
The experience of falling in love with a married man cuts across almost all cultures and education levels. Despite the knowledge that this scenario is unethical, immoral and guaranteed to bring pain to everyone involved, many smart, single women get their hearts tangled up this way.
You already know this is a story that does not end well. Maybe today you were fantasising about getting involved with a married, unavailable man, take a deep breath and just walk away. It can be hard to get control of your emotions when you feel so connected to him, but the only way to see things clearly is to re-frame your relationship.
Try to write yourself a happier ending, rather than throw away your romantic future by being in love with a married man, they are just bad news.
Of course most women just get carried away with material things because they already know what a woman wants. They lie a lot and instead of using a condom they will claim to be masters of withdrawal method, but when they fail, they will say no problem as they will take care of the child if it happens that you get pregnant. Guess what, you will stay a mistress as they stick to their marriage.
On the other hand, you will be no longer getting all the attention and love as he has to comfort and act to be a changed man before his wife who is also going through a lot after being disappointed by her husband.
So before you get too deeply involved with a married man, know that there is nothing special about you.
It can be tempting to think you are more “special” than his wife, more beautiful, sexier, nicer and everything he says. But if he already had one foot out the door — and that’s the case for most men who actually end up leaving their wives — you are mainly this: the nearest exit.b This man may end up remarrying, but hardly ever to the first woman who provides him with a convenient way out.
When he is out of his marriage, do not be fooled into believing that you are automatically the next woman to be his wife. He might start looking for other women and start to act as if he is less sure of his feelings. Now you start chasing after him and when your efforts hit a brick wall, you will be left nursing a heartbreak.
Never put your life on hold, always know you deserve to be at the centre of someone’s life, not lurking around the edges.
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