The Sunday News
Sandisiwe Gumbo, Sunday News Reporter
MR Sibangane Mguni, a 50-year-old Nketa Hall caretaker is living a life of complex challenges as he has to take care of his 15-year-old daughter, with each day presenting him with the task of bathing her, assisting her when she goes to the toilet and changing her sanitary pads during her menstrual cycle due to her physical disability.
Fifteen-year-old wheelchair-using Thandeka Ndlovu was born with Cerebral Palsy, a disorder that affects a person’s ability to move and maintain balance and posture. Thandeka requires constant assistance for everyday tasks and these challenges are all in the hands of her step father.
“Her condition is painful to me, a lot,” expressed Mr Mguni. “Having to face such duties as a man is not easy. It is my duty to carry her every time she has to move. It feels like it is abuse having to undress a 15-year-old-girl child. Although I’m not the biological father, I have raised her as my own. I am her father, but some of the things I see I should never see.”
Mr Mguni noted that he does not father Thandeka by blood, he found his second and current wife Ms Sukoluhle Ndlovu already with three children from another man, including Thandeka.
Thandekas’ mother, used to assist with her care until she developed a health issue that limited her ability to help. This has left Mr Mguni as the primary caregiver, having to take care of his family as well as his aging mother.
“Her mother used to do all these duties but she has also developed a condition that has affected her in carrying heavy things, or helping much in the house. She cannot even carry a four-year-old child now.
“She complains of sharp chest pains that penetrate from the front to the back, even when she is asleep you can hear sounds from her chest and we do not know what it is. I think this was caused by the many times she had to carry Thandeka.”
Due to financial constraints, Ms Sukoluhle Ndlovu has failed to go for X-rays to determine her exact condition. The family’s situation is further complicated by the presence of Mr Mgunis’ 85-year-old mother who also requires care and assistance, it was highlighted that she sometimes soils herself.
Ms Ndlovu mentioned that despite her health condition, she has to clean up her mother-in-law when she soils herself as it seems inappropriate and a taboo for Mr Mguni to clean up his own mother.
Mr Mguni expressed his fear of potential social stigma and baseless accusations due to his stepfather status. He expressed his worry about his role in caring for Thandeka and feels vulnerable to unjust suspicion of physically abusing his step daughter.
“People talk, what will we do if people start questioning how I am able to help Thandeka the way I am doing it? People will start saying I may be advancing myself on her. It is easy for people to think of such since I am not her real father, they may say I can easily rape her.”
Mr Mguni has four children from his first wife with whom he married and separated with before marrying Ms Sukoluhle Ndlovu, and together they had two children making a total of nine children all in one house. The family does not have a house of their own as they stay in the caretaker’s home within the Nketa Hall premises.
He is reaching out for support, particularly in securing a nurse aide to assist Thandeka, as the family’s financial situation makes it difficult to afford the specialised care and support she needs.
“I’m appealing for help, especially if I could get a nurse aide to be assisting her. I’m the only one who works in the house and that is the money that has to sustain us as well as pay school fees for the children, I am failing to afford to get her a nurse aide.
“We are also appealing for pampers, when Thandeka is on her periods we use pampers as she cannot keep the sanitary pad steady in one position.
“She does not have a wheelchair, the one we are using is pre-owned from Jairos Jiri. We appreciate it, it is, however, broken and she fails to keep it balanced.”
Thandeka requires medical attention, she requires constant physiotherapy and check-ups from a doctor. This has been a challenge for the family as that requires money.
In addition, they have to hire a car that will transport her to the hospital and this has resulted in failure for her to access medical care. Mr Mguni also has to deal with the pressure of doing house chores.
“Thandeka’s mother is unable to do much in the house, hence I have to do them myself. I do the laundry, although she tries to help here and there it is not much. For the cooking, she also tries but all I can say is all the duties and chores of the house are my burden.”
Thandeka, who requires a special school environment due to her condition, has faced challenges in finding suitable education options. Despite efforts to enrol her in schools for children with disabilities, the family has encountered challenges in finding a place that can accommodate Thandeka’s specific needs.
As Thandeka grows and gains weight, Mr Mguni is deeply concerned about the future, especially as the physical challenges of caring for her deepen.
“Carrying her is already a challenge, I cannot even imagine how the challenge will be when she reaches her 50s, she needs help,” Mr Mguni lamented.
ν For assistance, please contact Mr Sibangane Mguni on 0773873267/ Sunday News on 0717103794.
