The Sunday News
HAVE you ever attended an African wedding or funeral in which the emcee announces: “because we are running ahead of the programme, I will ask the next speaker to stretch his speech and make it long so that time catches up with us?”
You will, as we used to say, be struck down by a taxi with no wheels before that happens. The norm is that when it comes to time, we are like a dog chasing its tail. Sadly, we never catch it. Why is this?
I suspect this is because whenever there is an event in an African community, two ways of doing things compete for supremacy. We have on one hand the Western approach and on the other the traditional one. Like two gentlemen interested in the same lady, one approach must win at the expense of the other. The question of time is an important battle ground for both suitors.
For the Western wing, keeping time is proof that the family has progressed. “Time is money,” members of this wing keep saying. This wing has simple advice for anyone who wants to be a success in this competitive world. Be enthusiastic in whatever you are doing. Move fast. Do one activity at a time, concentrate on it and complete it within a given time. Then move on to another activity. Attack the activity with equal vigour and again complete it on time. Be punctual for all your appointments.
An African who lives by these rules is likely to boast: Phela mina ngilikhiwa (You see, I am white).
Time is also important for the traditional wing. It is needed if we are to achieve the highest stage of human development — lasting and meaningful relationships. Little wonder we have the saying umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu (You are who you are because of other people). Time is therefore best invested in human relationships.
It makes no sense for the traditionalist to say, “we have to rush, time is up.” Time is only up if death is imminent!
The various stages of a wedding ceremony provide a platform for the Western and African traditional wings to establish who has real authority. During the preparation stage, the Western wing dominates. Members of this wing meet and draw up a detailed programme for the day. Typed programmes are sent out to guests.
Early on the wedding day, the traditionalists wake from their slumber and flex their muscles. It is the duty of this wing to give their departing daughter sound advice on marriage.
The programme planners may have allocated 30 minutes for this item but what is time for traditionalists? Once they start dishing out advice, they usually find it necessary to increase the time allocated. It is typical of a traditionalist to start off: “I totally agree with the last speaker,” and then proceed to restate in his way what has already been said. Thus right from the beginning, the programme will be at least 30 minutes behind.
Accused of not being time conscious, the traditionalists will be amused. “Don’t these chaps understand that we are laying down foundations for the marriage to last a lifetime? You can’t hurry such an important event. It is more important to give sound advice, arm our daughter, than beat our chests for just religiously sticking to some man-made programme.
“In any case, those not happy about the delay can correct things. They can change the times on the programme so that we are not behind! Programmes are made for people, not people for programmes.”
The Western wing often dismisses the traditional approach on time keeping as backward and harmful. Progress will only come if things are done on time.
Well, should the movements of our minibuses (otshova) be by timetable? If only two passengers have boarded and it is departure time, must the minibus leave?
I suspect that the Western wing will be the first to point out that this is uneconomic. As every minibus crew knows, profit comes from full loads.
In my view, neither wing is always correct. It depends on the specific situation. Our community needs both wings. After all, what bird can fly with just one wing?
The challenge is to know which approach is appropriate for the occasion. For instance, it was appropriate at Willard Khumalo’s funeral service at MacDonald Hall for the emcee to let speakers say all they wanted to say. Mourners had gathered from all over the country to pay their last respects. As for the cemetery gates closing at 12 noon, well, the councillor in whose ward the cemetery is located also wanted to make a long speech. She phoned the cemetery authorities to instruct that they delayed to close the gates.
Don’t get carried away dear reader and phone your prospective employers to advise that you will be a minute late for the job interview. With such an attitude, you will never be employed.
Well, bakithi, I still have a few points to make on the topic but it’s time I shut up. The editor insists on receiving my copy on time if it is to see the light of day. He has printers who insist . . .
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