The Sunday News
Kilton Moyo
Last week we saw that there are three pillars in building strong parent-child relationships. Honour, obedience and submission are very important and the Bible encourages these as foundational pillars or even commandments for our relationships. I want to observe that there is need that as society we understand the Godly or God given blocks or principles of building human relationships that can be a blessing. Family relationships are meant to be a blessing and not a curse like it is in most families today.
I want to observe that obedience, honour and submission must be taught and modelled. They will not just happen like that. They must be learnt and transferred from one generation to another. They must be part of the legacy or wealth that we leave for our children. They must be imparted on others.
Let me just take these deeper today by adding some dimensions. Honour is a condition of the heart. It is not a mental thing but something that comes from deep inside you. It has everything to do with your heart and not your physical environment. I hear people say that these days young people do not honour their parents or the elderly and they attribute this to many things such as the economy and others. I want us all to understand that this has nothing to do with the environment but everything to do with the condition of the heart. Rebellion is in the heart.
Arrogance is in the heart. The Bible is clear in 2 Timothy 3: 2 that in the last days people will be disobedient to their parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good and many other things. All these are heart issues that work against productive relationships in the family and society. I think it can help us to know that when we are building relationships we are dealing with heart issues.
We make the mistake of thinking that money and other materials can build us lasting and blessing relationships. It’s only what is in our hearts that matters the most. What you see in the world today shows you how our hearts are towards God first.
One thing that we can do as parents to instill a sense of honour to our children is to try our best to be their friends particular teenagers. At the teenage stage friends matter the most and they have great influence. When you are their friend, you will have free access of their hearts. You can impart some things. Be a friend that sticks closer. I can assure you that it is not as easy but is doable. Love them, appreciate them, honour them, respect their decisions and correct through engagement and not a list of don’ts.
Submission is very important in building such relationships. It is required at every level of our lives. The Bible in Ephesians 5: 21 is clear as giving an instruction to submit to one another. Submission is a must at every level and everywhere. This brings stability and direction in our relationships. Submission too is an inward thing.
It is motivated by love and not by external force. It is a waste of time to seek submission from children by beating them, cursing them and doing all kinds of violence against them. That is oppression and not submission. Many of us as families we struggle with submission. Remember that it must be modeled to. How submitted are you as parents one to another?
I know that in our mixed up knowledge, we think that only wives should submit to their husband. This is not the accurate teaching of the Bible. There is the foundational submission in Ephesians 5:21 which involve us all. This is what will make it easy for the submission in Ephesians 5:22.
The first submission is for all of us and we do it to build relationships in the fear of God. We must learn it. You will agree with me that many men in particular rush to demand the second level of submission from their wives before learning to submit to women as humans themselves. Beloved, submission is foundational in building relationships.
Parents and children all submitted to one another. You are all accountable to each other. Parents should learn also to give account and explain family things to children. Family partnership is key in building strong families and in promoting important and foundational values such as honour, obedience and submission.
Maybe what we need to do all of us is to make sure that we are all feeling loved in a family setup. This will make us to love also. Loving and being loved is the glue that keeps us together in a family. Relationships are about love. Hate destroys relationships. It poisons the heart.
Love inspires the heart towards doing good to other people and it strengthens relationships. Families that will survive the anti-Christ onslaught are families that love and create an atmosphere of love in the family set up. Remember beloved that the last lap Home, before the coming of Christ, is a lap of Faith. The bible is clear that faith works by love. This maybe calls on us to be love givers and makers in the home so our faith can work.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friends” John 15: 12-13. It’s time that as families we love one another.
At Fruitful Marriages we endeavor to help families build sound relationships that will bring peace and blessings.
Family unity is important. Call us or write to us or follow us on our [email protected] We also on twitter @fmarriages. Check our Facebook page too for more insights.
Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment program and is pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or whatsap on +263775337207, +263772610103 or [email protected]
