The Sunday News
Vincent Gono, Features Editor
IN the olden day African society there was popularisation of the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
The general wisdom behind the statement was that a child was every villager’s responsibility, that a child does not grow up in a single home or that the child’s upbringing belonged to the community and not just the biological parent.
It meant that error by the child could be corrected by the next elder person to where the error had been committed. And the community could do that with a pleasant feeling and comfort of trying to raise a morally upright generation. This also made the children regard elder people around them as their fathers and mothers who could take control of their actions, rebuke and chastise them with no offence taken.
However, times are changing and so are cultures. What used to be held as the responsibility of a whole village is now confined to a more nuclear family and both the community and the children have lost each other to rights and so to the detriment of a morally upright society.
Talk in Bulawayo has been so much concentrated on the behaviour of the school going teens and how they have lost focus of the more important things in life to a carefree life of partying, drugs and sex with many a parent concerned that the country may as well be raising a generation of drunks and vision blurred youths supposing that what is happening in the city is a microcosm of the macrocosm.
Vuzu parties where alcohol, sex and nudity are celebrated and worshipped have become an important characteristic of every school holiday, much to the disappointment and embarrassment of most parents and guardians whose homes these children are havened.
Respect, dignity, discipline and responsibility have continued to elude the growing generation and the values of ubuntu have been laughed at and considered taboo and obsolete even by some parents.
A teen interviewed said they find a way around their parents by forming fake WhatsApp study groups and originate messages that they would show to their parents of where they were meeting under the guise of studying when in fact they would pack party clothes and go to vuzu house parties where they would engage in everything dirty from alcohol to sex.
“My known friend will simply send a message saying we are meeting at such, such a place where we are revising any subject, say Maths. I will simply show the message to my mother who without hesitation would allow me to go. In cases where she looks difficult I will just tell her to phone my friend who will confirm the studying or simply let my friend phone her. Once allowed to go I will pack a few books and party clothes and leave for town only to be back on the morrow,” she said.
Historian and cultural activist Mr Pathisa Nyathi said it was worrying that the youths seem to have lost the compass that guided and pointed many of the older generations into the virtues of ubuntu/unhu that produced a wholesome individual who fits into the proper African society whose philosophy bordered on the phrase, “I am because we are.”
He said ideas about family as part of a community and what it represents have changed and have been narrowed to a more central one where families no longer belong to a community but to themselves and so were children.
“The trend where school going teenagers are engaging in alcohol abuse, partying and sex is sad. The values of a cohesive and combative African society are at great risk and so are the tenets of ubuntu as an important aspect of African philosophy.
“What is happening in the city now laughs loudly at all the good values of ubuntu. The community is no longer responsible for raising a child, neither does a child belong to a village any longer. Ideas about a family have narrowed from community to a more nuclear family and it is not doing any good to our children,” he said.
He contends that the problem was more prevalent in Bulawayo than any other cities in the country because of the diaspora problem where a lot homes were either manned by one parent or no parent at all, thereby compromising the standards of discipline.
“I do not think the problem is as prevalent in other cities as it is here in Bulawayo. I would like to believe that it’s because of the diaspora problem where the family, as we know it, is tempered with because of the economy. Children are left in the care of grandparents who have less energy to discipline them. Parents will be sending money but there will be no one to direct how the money should be used.
“Money requires a responsible person and in the absence of such a person then chaos is brewed and spread into society because most of those houses where the parties are hosted are manned by children whose parents are in the diaspora,” said Mr Nyathi warning that parents should know that money as important as it was, could not raise a child.
It was Mr Nyathi’s submission that the other factor was the lack of leadership above the family and community, particularly in Matabeleland.
He said there was a leadership vacuum in the region that could speak about societal ills and get listened to with most of the pressure groups suffering from recognition and anointing.
“Matabeleland had no leader above family and community who could be listened to on some of these social ills. If we had the likes of Cde Nkomo (Joshua) I don’t think we were going to have a lot of such problems.
“He was someone people both young and old could listen to but now we have a problem with most of these pressure groups. When they talk people tend to question their authority. They start saying, when and where did we anoint you to speak on our behalf which makes Matabeleland stand out and unique both socially and politically,” he said.
He also said the sad historical chapter of Gukurahundi closed a generation of leadership that could have taken over in social circles adding that people should just internalise discipline even where there was no force effected.
Traditional leader and Zimbabwe Council of Chiefs deputy president Chief Mtshane Khumalo maintains that it is the duty of the community to raise a child.
He said whatever culture that the people were following was wrong and not good for disciplined African society.
He said in rural areas where in most cases people were related and know each other well they still held esteem the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child,” saying it was in town where probably its application might be difficult because of the set-up.
He said institutions such as the church and school should not play a passive role in the upbringing of children but should also take it as part of their responsibility to nurture a wholesome individual who could fit well in the society.
“We still hold esteem the belief that the community should play a part in raising a child. You should however, understand the dynamics of the rural and town set-up. In the rural areas we still help each other, moreso because we are related and children in such set-ups cannot be nuisances in the presence of an elder they know. This is unlike in town where people do not know each other and where some neighbours do not even greet each other. But the ideal situation is that we help each other and take it as our collective responsibility to raise children to be responsible citizens who can account for their actions,” said Chief Mtshane Khumalo.
He urged civic organisations not to expend time and energy dabbling in politics instead of playing a part in bringing up morally upright individuals out of the teens that were wasting their lives in alcohol, parties and sex.
Apostolic Christian Council of Zimbabwe president Bishop Johannes Ndanga added his voice saying as the church, they were playing their part in inculcating good morals in children.
“It is disheartening to note that there is so much deviance by children from the otherwise morally upright way we were raised, much so because of technology, western cultural dominance and broken families due to economic challenges. But in all that it remains the church, school and society’s responsibility to raise a child,” he said.
Police spokesperson for Bulawayo Metropolitan Province Chief Inspector Precious Simango recently warned youths against engaging in misconduct, adding that police would be closely monitoring their behaviour in the CBD.
Chief Insp Simango said police were ready to pounce on anyone caught on the wrong side of the law and urged parents to assist police in monitoring their children.
“We are also appealing to parents to assist in monitoring the behaviour of their children.
“They are responsible for their children so parents must make sure they are not out at night,” said Chief Insp Simango.
